Save Me From Myself
by ChuBerri
Summary: Spill Canvas. Self Conclusion.  deiXsas  Life can prove to be difficult, but you can't just wait for someone else to save you, can you?


_**Spill Canvas- Self Conclusion.**_ Slightly edited lyrics, because…Deidara isn't a girl… Yea….

_**Also**_ ! I am so sorry for not updating lately. I loaned someone my copy of invisible monsters, so I can't work on that story until it's returned. But, when I get it back, I'll go back to the daily updates

* * *

><p><em>Fade in, start the scene<em>

Sasori stood on the top of the roof. The world stretched before him. Gentle winds ruffled his dark red hair as his muddy brown eyes scanned the area below. This is what his life had come to. He was tired of the same things happening daily. The redundancy, the monotony, that made his life. Things had to change. He took a breath, and took a step.

_Enter beautiful boy_

Deidara shoved the door open, stepping out into the air. The world was always much more beautiful from this height. He had an advantage. He could see everyone, but people rarely looked up enough to see him. He shoved a hand through blonde locks, sweeping them back as the wind pushed him forward.  
><em>But things are not what they seem<br>As we stand at the edge of the world_

He stepped up on the ledge. His life was perfect. That lie made him want to laugh. Sure, he had a home, he had friends. But he didn't have love. He felt empty, devoid. He wasn't depressed, he told himself that. If he was depressed, surely he would know. The rock of the wall was solid beneath his feet and he sucked in a breath. This was it.  
><em>"Excuse me, sir,<br>But I have plans to die tonight  
>Oh, and you are directly in my way<br>And I bet you're gonna say it's not right"_  
>He was stopped by arms around his waist, jerking him back roughly.<p>

"What are you doing, yea?" He demanded, whirling to glare at the person.

The boy stared back at him, muddy brown eyes emotionless. "What are you thinking, Brat?"

It took Deidara a moment to find his voice. He had to tear his eyes away from Sasori. He was beautiful, almost inhuman. Maybe not the ideal surfer blonde beautiful, but the secretive kind of… This was why he was here. These thoughts; they had to stop. He couldn't stand around and watch men.

His entire life was being ruined. And he had no one to blame but himself.

"Questions are meant to be answered." Sasori prompted.

Deidara narrowed his eyes. "Why are you stopping me, why do you care?"

_My reply:  
>"Excuse me, sir<br>But do you have the slightest clue  
>Of exactly what you just said to me<br>And exactly who you're talking to?"_

"Why does anyone care?" Sasori replied quickly.

Deidara narrowed his eyes. "For attempting to save someone, you have a pretty negative outlook yourself, yea."

"Is this the time to judge someone else, Brat?"

"My name isn't Brat. It's Deidara."

"Okay, Deidara," He said the name snidely. "I'm Sasori."

"Sasori, yea," Deidara shrugged. "What's it matter."

"Who ever said it did?" Sasori dropped his eyes. "I'm not doing this right."

Deidara arched a brow. "Doing what right?"

"Shut up, Brat." Sasori frowned. "Don't you want to live?"

_He said, "I don't care, you don't even know me"_

"Regardless of my opinion on life, it isn't any of your business." Deidara crossed his arms, leaning back slightly.

_I said, "I know but I'd like to change that soon, hopefully"_

"It could be." Sasori turned away from the blonde, staring out over the city. "Do you want to go out for dinner?"

Deidara glanced up at the sky. It couldn't have been much past four, the sky still light. He shot a glance at Sasori. "Sure, yea,"

Sasori led the way to the door, the exit from the roof. They walked down the stairs in silence, walked to the restaurant in silence.

Only once their orders were placed, did Deidara break the silence. "Why?"  
><em>Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion<em>  
><em>Of self conclusion in one simplified motion<em>  
>"Everyone wants to die at some point," Sasori accepted his drink from the waiter. "We all think we'd be better off dead at some time in our life."<p>

Deidara arched a brow. "Even you, Sasori?"

"Even me, Brat," Sasori smiled slightly. "Want to know the secret?"

"Are you going to tell me the secret to life?" Deidara bit back a sarcastic laugh.

"No, the secret about the thoughts,"

Deidara seemed to think for a moment, but he nodded.  
><em>You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it<br>No matter how unbearable this misery gets_

"You've been through the worst already. You can make it, move on." Sasori shrugged.

Deidara waited for more, but it was obvious that Sasori had said what he called the secret. "Who says this is the worst?"

"Are you saying dinner with me is the worst?"

Deidara shook his head quickly.

"Then what, exactly, is the worst?"

_"You make it sound so easy to be alive  
>But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day<br>When everything inside me has died?"_

"You talk like life is just going to get better," Deidara twirled his ice with the straw, staring at his drink. "But, if you were me, you would know that isn't true."

"Why do you say that, Brat?"

"Quit calling me brat, yea," Deidara frowned over his glass at Sasori, and then returned his attention to the ice. "It's lonely, everything is. I can be around so many people, do anything, and still be completely alone. Maybe that sound cliché, but when it happens to you, you understand."

"So you don't have proper friends, and that makes you want to die?"

Deidara jerked his head up. "Don't try to summarize me, Sasori." His voice held venom. "It's not that simple."

"Then tell me the complicated parts," Sasori accepted the food from the waiter, waiting for Deidara to speak. "Brat, I don't like waiting."

Deidara shrugged. "It's nothing in particular; it's everything, un. It's the way people smile and seem so happy with their lives. It's the way people can walk down the street and hold hands, publicly display their love. It's the way people meet eyes across the room, and they have instant connection. It's the way everyone has what I don't."

_My reply:  
>"Trust me, boy<br>I know your legs are pleading to leap_

"I could reply in two ways, which one do you want?"

Deidara didn't hesitate. "Both, yea," Something about Sasori interested him. Maybe he was harsh in a way, but he was engaging.

"The first is: I could tell you that life isn't simple, but you're making it hard. You could easily go out there and find someone. You aren't hideous, Brat."

Deidara wasn't sure if the last part was a compliment or an insult. He wrinkled his nose at the words. "What's the other reply, yea?"

"I could have said: I know what you're feeling." He paused to take a bite of his ignored food. "Love never played a factor in my life, not that I ever tried for it to." He paused to think.  
><em>But I offer you this easy choice-<br>Instead of dying, living with me"_

"Where do you live?"

Deidara jerked up. "When did this get personal, un?"

"When did the topic of suicide become not personal?"

"Good point, yea. I live by myself, not far from here, yea," He answered vaguely.

"That's the problem. You live alone."

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Doctor. Where do you live?"

"By myself, not far from here, yea," Sasori mocked him.

"You live alone, too, yea. How is it a problem if you do it?"

"I don't have to." Sasori locked eyes with Deidara. "You don't have to. You could stay with me."

_He said, "Are you crazy? You don't even know me."_

"Are you serious?" Deidara looked surprised. "I could be a crazy killer, yea."

"But you aren't," Sasori pointed out. "Maybe I am,"

"That makes me want to live with you all the more, un."

Sasori smiled slightly. "It's an option, think about it."

"You just met me; you don't know a thing about me, yea."

_I said, "I know, but I'd like to change that soon hopefully"_

"I could know everything about you and still not know you."

Deidara frowned. "That's true, yea,"

"What better way to know a person than to live with them?"

_Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion  
>Of self conclusion in one simplified motion<em>

Deidara stood on the roof, the wind caught in his hair. He would do it this time. This time, he was serious. The streets were far below, the people tiny. His life would not be a burden to anyone anymore. He would change it all. All he had to do was step forward.

_You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it  
>No matter how unbearable this misery gets<em>  
>It was too crowded today, it would cause a scene. He wanted something different than that. He didn't want to be another statistic. He wanted to be one of a kind. He turned and stepped away from the edge. He knew he'd be back soon enough. And maybe next time, he wouldn't talk his way out of it. Maybe next time, he wouldn't be able to find an excuse.<p>

Secretly, he didn't want to die. He wanted someone to swoop in and save him.  
><em>I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough<br>And all this cliché motivation, it could never be enough_  
>"It wouldn't be easy," Sasori snapped Deidara's attention back to the present.<p>

"What do you mean, un?" It took him a second to realize Sasori was talking about moving in. He was serious?

"I doubt I'm the easiest person to live with," Sasori shrugged, taking a bite of his food. "You might hate me within a matter of days."

Deidara arched a brow. This was hardly a convincing argument. But he had already decided, and his answer wasn't changing.

_I could stand here all night trying to convince you  
>But what good would that do?<br>My offer stands, and you must choose_  
>Sasori folded his napkin, sliding his plate away. He was done here. "Brat, I told you, I don't like waiting. I could sit here and say every word you ever wanted to hear. But I'm not going to do that. Have you decided?"<p>

_"All right, you win, but I only give you one night  
>To prove yourself to be better than my attempt at flight<em>

Deidara nodded, and stood as Sasori did. "Lead the way, yea,"

"Just like that?" Sasori looked slightly skeptical.

Deidara seemed to consider that. "Just for one night, I'll stay."

Sasori nodded. "That's enough, Brat,"

Deidara followed Sasori from the restaurant.

"Do you need to get anything?"

Deidara shook his head. "From the way you talk, one night with you, and I'll be back up on the ledge."

"Sure, Brat, way to stay positive."

"Prove me wrong, yea,"

Sasori smirked at the challenge. "I will."  
><em>I swear to god if you hurt me I will leap<br>I will toss myself from these very cliffs  
>And you'll never see it coming"<br>_Sasori opened the door to his apartment, letting Deidara walk in first. He shut the door, locking it behind him.

"Do you want anything?" He wasn't use to being a host; he enjoyed a more secluded life style.

Deidara turned. This was more intimate than he'd been with any person. Going out to dinner and then back to his house, it was almost a date. Didn't dates normally end with a kiss? What if he told Sasori that's what he wanted?

Almost as if reading his mind, Sasori stepped closer to the blonde, brushing his lips gently against the fragile boy's.

Deidara shivered at the faint touch and clutched Sasori's shirt, holding him close as he held himself up. He pressed his face against Sasori's chest and felt the male embrace him.

"I don't do this, I don't know what I'm doing," He whispered uncertainly, honestly. "Sasori, don't hurt me."

Sasori pressed a kiss to his forehead, tilting his face up to look at him.  
><em> "Settle, precious, I know what you're going through<em>  
>"I promise." Sasori pressed his lips to Deidara's once more, deepening the kiss as the blonde sighed. Deidara tasted of something sweet. His lips were soft and the kiss quickly became feverish.<p>

Deidara pulled away first, greedily sucking in air.

Sasori led him to the couch, where they both sat.

Deidara slid his hand in Sasori's.

Sasori's entwined their fingers, staring at their hands. "You want to know the real secret?"  
><em>Just ten minutes before you got here I was gonna jump too"<em>

If you hadn't shown up when you did, I would have jumped." Sasori whispered.

Deidara turned to look at him. "I'm glad you didn't."

"Me too," Sasori let go of Deidara's hand, leaning over to tangle one hand in blonde locks, the other on his cheek. His eyes never leaving Deidara's, their lips met once more.

Maybe they didn't know what love was. Maybe they weren't sure exactly what they were doing; with each other or with life. But in order to find answers, you had to look. And the best place to look was with the one you lived with.  
><em>Yeah we all flirt with the tiniest notion<br>Of self conclusion in one simplified motion  
>You see the trick is that you're never supposed act on it<br>No matter how unbearable this misery gets_

* * *

><p><em>In your review, if you review, tell me, Should I write more ? And if so, do you want crazy emotional (blah, say no :D) or sexxii bits ? - That, I could do. I already have the "What did they do that convinced Deidara to stay with Sasori past one night" idea going. Terrible me.<br>Hope you enjoyed !  
><em>


End file.
